New Southern Writer

I found a new southern writer whose work I really love. Her name is Pamela Duncan and to date she's written 3 novels. Moon Women, Plant Life, and the most recent title that came out this month is The Big Beautiful. She writes real, stories about real southern people and southern life. Right now I'm reading Plant Life. I love her way with words and dialogue. Most are expressions and language that I've heard all my life. I'm amazed that anyone else knew these expressions and used them in conversations. I can't wait to read the other 2 books.

Blaize Clement Website

I've discovered a new author who writes cozy mysteries with an animal theme. I can't wait to get her books and read them.

I really like what she says in her biography about what she thinks about people she meets for the first time.

When I meet somebody for the first time, I don’t give a gnat’s patootie where they were born or what school they went to or how they make their living. I want to know their favorite color, their favorite book, their favorite movie. I want to know what they’re passionate about, what makes them get up every morning, what they believe in.

This is pretty much my philosophy too. I am not impressed with degrees, education, wealth. The things I'm most interested in when meeting people and making friends are how genuine and honest are they? How loyal, what their favorite books are and everything else Blaize Clement said in the above exerpt from her biography.

I guess this must be because I never grew up with educated people. Not that they were ignorant at all, but it's just that all of the people I grew up around were real, genuine, down-to-earth people without pretentions. Just real. No one tried to impress anyone else with their educational level, their salary, or what college or university they went to, or what type of degree they had. We didn't worry about getting ahead and making more money, we just worried about doing an honest days work for what we were paid, and were very happy to be doing it and felt very fortunate to have a job at all.

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday and today is Eddie's. I was 54 yesterday and he is 59 today. We were supposed to go to Eddie's mother's house Saturday for our birthday dinner and she called around 12 and said that she was sick with a stomach virus. She had diahrrea and was throwing up. I found out this morning from Eddie's sister that their mom was so weak that she went to the hospital ER and they put her on an IV for a couple of hours to restore some of the fluid she had lost. I haven't talked to her since then, but I think she's feeling better now.

We went to my mom's yesterday for my birthday and it was for both of us. My mom gave me some soft Lovemates houseshoes and a squishy sponge like you use with body wash. My mom believes in giving you things you can use, not fun stuff. I love the houseshoes, don't get me wrong, but she usually doesn't get fun type stuff. She gave Eddie a tie and some aftershave.

We had a really good dinner at my mom's. She had ham, pinto beans, yams, a broccoli casserole and cornbread. No cake because she knew I wanted it but didn't need it. I really think that everyone should have cake on their birthday whether they need it or not, so I was a little disappointed about that.

The other day when my mom and I were talking on the phone we were talking about my dad and I asked her if she had his miliary discharge papers and if she did I wanted to see them. He was in the army during WWII from about September of 1942 and was out by April 1943 (only about 7 months). He was injured on a trunk. He was riding in the back of the truck with some other soldiers. He was up close to the cab window. The driver had to put his brakes on fast for some reason and when he did everyone in the back was shoved up near the front where my dad was and this resulted in them crushing my dad and injuring his ribcage somehow. He was never the same after that so I guess he was honorably discharged because of the injury.

My mom keeps all of her important papers in a fireproof metal box. She has all of her birth certificates, death certificates, insurance papers, etc. in that box. She also has her will, which I've already seen, and her funeral instructions. I was so afraid she was going to get that funeral stuff out and start talking about all that. Thank goodness she didn't, but she did say that she had changed her mind about what she wanted to be buried in and showed me the suit that she wants to be buried in. I wondered to myself how many other people get their parents to talk about their funeral instructions on their birthdays. I can see her wanting to tell me these things, but on my birthday? It sort of ruined my day.

On a good note we did talk about old times a little. When I was in grammar school she worked for a short time in the school cafeteria. She reminded me about those cookies they used to have. They had two different kinds that I remember: peanut butter cookies and chocolate cookies. They were made from scratch with a cookie dough that was refrigerated. After the dough had chilled, they took them out of the refrigerator and rolled them into a ball. They placed them on a cookie sheet and then flatten them slightly by making a criss-cross pattern with a fork. My mom said she always liked to put a half pecan on top of hers and they were so good that way. I had forgotten all about it. Sometimes she would bring home some leftover cookie dough and make them at home. That's when she put the pecans on hers. I know they never put pecans on them at school. I guess it would have been too expensive.

Now I want to find a chocolate cookie dough recipe like that so I can go back and taste those cookies with the pecans on top, just like my mom used to make them.

Lady Peabury

"Lady Peabury was in the morning room reading a novel; early training gave a guilty spice to this recreation, for she had been brought up to believe that to read before luncheon was one of the gravest sins it was possible to commit."
An Englishman's home (1939)

Evelyn Waugh 1903 - 1966

Willow House

I'm reading a book by one of my favorite southern writers, Lee Smith. The title of the book is On Agate Hill and it's set in North Carolina right after the Civil War.

When I'm reading a book and I find a section of the book that I particularly relate to or enjoy, I like to write it down in my journal so I can remember it. In this particular exerpt, some children are playing on the grounds around the plantation in an area they have come to name Willow House.

"It is cool and green in the Willow House. Long lacy branches fall down around us making a screen for perfect privacy, so none can see where we sit on our three white rocks to read or eat a fancy lunch on magnolia leaf plates.... While we are in the Willow House, time stops still it seems, and all we can hear is the music of the river in our ears.

And the most exciting part -- though we have not seen them yet -- Mary White and I have reason to believe that a band of fairies comes here also. Mary White knows all the fairies and now I do too. They wear little green jackets and red caps with an owl feather sticking up at a jaunty angle. They come to ride the frogs and hunt the skittery waterbugs that play back there in the shallows. They live on fried waterbugs and flower pudding, Mary White says. One day we surprised these fairies and almost saw them -- but they flew away fast on their gossamer wings leaving only a rainbow shimmer in the air and an owl feather floating in the little pool by the littlest rock where it went round and round in a magic way for as long as we watched, until Mary White plucked it up from the water to put in our collection of phenomena. Mary White says the fairies are coming back soon, she can feel it. She says we must go to the river in the light of the moon if we really mean to see them. So we are planning to do this on the next full moon. I can not wait.

Another thing we play is dolls, though my china doll Margaret is very old, having belonged first to Julia and Rachel when they were girls. Her painted hair was all gone on one side but now Mary White and I have made her some more with bootblack, so she looks fine, and her blue silk ballgown is especially elegent. Underneath she wears a chemise, a petticoat, and pantalettes, feather-stitched and herringboned, made by Julia. Mary White can not get over Margarets pantalettes!

And in truth I like Margaret old as she is far better than Mary Whites wax doll Fleur which is much larger, able to open and shut her eyes and say Mama and Papa quite plainly. But Fleur is too much of a baby doll for me. I like a doll who is old enough for romances and flirtations."

Taken from On Agate Hill by Lee Smith

All Over But The Shoutin'

In my last post I was whining about how I can't keep up with my book list and about how no one probably reads it anyway. I recognize that post now as just a general pity party and whining. Maybe from now on I'll just write about books that I'm reading in this blog instead of trying to keep up with them in my Books blog. I'll have to give that some thought.

I've started reading a book that I'm really enjoying. The title is All Over But The Shoutin' by Rick Bragg. I've never read anything by this author, but I find that I'm really involved in this book. He's a wonderful writer and I can relate to so many things he's writing about. I understand that he has written another book called Ava's Man and I might read it next. I think I'll go see if he has a web site to explore.

Lamentations

I've just about given up trying to keep my Book Journal up to date. For one thing, every time I add a new title I have to reformat the font size to get it to post up on the blog. I don't know what that's about, but I'm pretty sure it's a Blogger thing. Or maybe it's me and I just don't know how to fix it.

When I first created the Book Journal I thought it would be a good way to help me keep up with what I've read, but I forget to update it half the time anyway, so I may just delete it and forget about it. I read so many books it's hard to keep up with, and anyway, who cares? It's not like everyone is reading my blog anyway. This is really just for me. I chose not to make it public in Blogger or in any special interest groups, so it's my own fault if no one reads it except people I tell about it. Even my friends don't read it on a regular basis unless I tell them about something interesting that I've just posted. I guess I just lead a fairly uninteresting life, to other people anyway. Ok, enough pity party stuff. It's not all about me, after all.

Eddie is going to have his teeth pulled on December 18 (if he doesn't back out). I feel really sorry for him because I know he hates having to have this done, but I know he will be glad when it's over with. I just hope that he can get some dentures that he really likes and that he can wear and that he feels that he looks halfway decent in. Even if he backs out this time, he will just be delaying the inevitable, so he might as well go on and get it done and get it over with.

I'm talking really big since I'm the next one who has to make a decision about what I want to do about my dental problem. I have periodontal disease, according to the periodontist that I went to. I'm in complete denial. Not about the disease so much as I am about the fact that I'm still not convinced that all the surery she wants to do is necessary. At least not at this time. I'm getting a second opinion before I consider having anything done. I'm probably just delaying the inevitable too, but I won't do it until I have to.

Our Christmas tree is up and the house is decorated for Christmas. I'm really enjoying it all. I love to turn on the lights at night and just sit and enjoy them. A friend of ours came to supper last Sunday night and she said it made her feel like she was in a fairy land. That made me really happy when she said that. I sort of feel that way too and wish I could figure out how to have my house look and feel like that all the time. Another friend of ours decorated the fireplace mantle and it's just beautiful.

Tea Time

I had a little tea party, this afternoon at three
Twas very small, three guests in all, I, Myself, and Me
Myself ate up the sandwhiches, while I drank up the tea
Twas also I who ate the pie and passed the cake to me!


It's been really cold here this week and yesterday, for some reason, my feet were freezing. I kept complaining about my feet being cold and Eddie said why didn't I have some hot tea, that it would probably warm me up.

I got to thinking about how I've been trying to get a few of my friends together to go to an authentic British tearoom in our city, but we never seem to be able to get together. Everyone seems to be too busy. So, I thought, "Why not?" I'll just have my own little tea party. I collect teapots and teacups, so I definitely had all of the makings for a nice little afternoon tea. I actually hadn't intended to go to the extent that I did, but when I started making the tea I remembered that I had a nice little teapot that I had bought awhile back, some teacups, and saucers. All of them part of my collection. It's silly to have all of those things and never use them. I had bought some tea from the tea room on a previous visit. When I bought it they told me that they serve it in their dining room.

So, I got everything together in about ten minutes and the above picture is the result. I even had a book to read while I was having tea. Eddie was watching a football game, so he didn't participate, but it was very nice and I enjoyed it immensely.

Vacation

I must be missing going on vacation. I think it's been 2 or 3 years since we've actually taken a vacation. I mean one where I have taken 2 weeks off and then we've gone someplace for a week like Florida or Myrtle Beach or someplace like that. Or just anywhere that we haven't been to get away for a week. I really like getting away, but it's nice to get back home too.

I know we have been able to go to Spring Creek on a regular basis for the last 4 or 5 years and I guess we've just done that instead of taking our regular vacation every year. Spring Creek is wonderful, but it's just not long enough. It seems like the weekend flies by and then it's back to work on Monday. My cousin (who works for the company that owns Spring Creek) is looking for another job, so depending on how successful he is, we may not get to go there again. I do hope he finds another job if that's what he needs, but I sure will miss Spring Creek.

I guess I wouldn't be feeling this way, but lately, people at work have just been really getting on my nerves. And not my coworkers but some of the students I've had to deal with. Last week there was a patron in our library who came to the desk where I staffing and said something was wrong because he couldn't hear through the headphones he had attached to the computer he was working on. When I went over, he said either that or it's because he is going to die soon and his hearing is going. Well, I have to say that comment freaked me out a little. We've had some strange patrons before, but this one was really different. He seems to be a little high strung and just here, there and everywhere. Anyway, then there are others who want to tell you all of their problems. I'm usually a good listener, but I really don't want to hear about everyone's problems. I'm not being insensitive, I just have enough of my own stuff to deal with. I don't want to hear about all of theirs, especially if it doesn't involve me; and thank goodness it doesn't involve me. I don't get into anyone's business but my own. I'm more of a live and let live kind of girl. So, I guess I'm just feeling the need to get away. We get some time off at Christmas, but frankly I don't know if I can wait that long for some time off. I don't even need to go out of town, although that would be nice. I just need a vacation from work.

Dream

I had the craziest dream last night. It was about me and my cousin. My cousin is the same age as me and we grew up together. His birthday is in October and he'll be my age. We are a few months apart.

I dreamt that we had gone in his car (or someone's car) to look at another car for him. For some reason, the battery was dead on the car that he was looking at. We had the hood up on both of the cars and he had connected the batteries to boost the car off. I was in the passenger seat (don't ask me why I wasn't in the driver's seat) of his car and he was in the driver's seat of the car he was looking at. He told me to rev the motor up and when I did, the foot pedal got stuck and the car I was in (in the passenger seat, remember) backed up and started barrelling down the road. My cousin somehow managed to get into the back seat of the car I was in (don't know why he didn't get into the passenger seat) while I was frantically trying to figure out how to stop the car. After he got into the back seat he said, "Ok, Sharon, it's your move." No kidding. We were barrelling down the road at breakneck speed and while we were on the road my cousin said, "Now my boss is gonna be mad. I'll bet he won't let me use those tickets, now." Could this have been his boss's car? I figured, heck, if you die when this car crashes, you won't need to worry about tickets of any kind. Somehow we managed to avoid a crash and found a spot to turn around in. I was somehow in the driver's seat by this time and turned the car around and then the dream ended.

When I woke up I was lying in bed laughing and I kept thinking that Eddie was going to wake up and ask me what I was laughing about. I didn't have to worry. He's a sound sleeper. It takes alot to wake him up.

Sanctuary

We just returned from Spring Creek Retreat on Sunday. It was a wonderful trip, as always. The only bad thing about it that my cousin is looking for another job, so this was likely the last time we will ever get to go there. Well, for the cheaper price, of course. We can go, but we would have to pay the full price, which we can't afford. The only way we can afford to go is with our cousin, and because he works for the company we only have to pay the cleaning fee, which is substantially less than the regular rate.

While we were there I noticed an article that was on the bullentin board of the Creek House. It's a wonderfully written article and reflects my feelings exactly about Spring Creek. I've repeated it here below, giving credit to the author. I couldn't have said it better myself.

A KIND OF SANCTUARY …

Deep in the Tennessee mountains, conveniently isolated from freeways and shopping malls I visited a scene so full of natural calm that simply being there held healing potential. The place was sanctuary. In sharing the vision, I invite you to taste and enjoy. Perhaps you can reflect on your own peaceful sanctuary.

In this place, the movement of cold water over gray rocks produced a gentle melody even a singer couldn’t duplicate. The crystal liquid of the mountain stream held light the way a mirror contains a thousand reflections. Green leaves fluttered in soft waves as if to offer a silent greeting. I observed the sprinkles of sunlight bounce above the trees and back against the underside of ancient branches. Nature’s strobe light at high noon hypnotized me with a calm, silent rhythm.

Wild ducks announced their presence with a sequence of honking quacks. Infinite shades of brown feathers covered their floating bodies. They flew away, then back again, landing with a gentle series of splashes beyond a cluster of river rocks. I thought of family and how the most basic of instincts united this flock in community.

Late summer crickets and forest toads mingled with turtles and flashes of blue-tail lizards. Butterflies kissed the meadow plants on their final flights of the season. The busy stillness held an energy I could not explain. Moving water created a constant melancholy gurgle, giving unity to the infinite variety of sights and sounds. I sat mystified by the presence of nature.

My notebook was open and my eyes were closed. A tired brain drank in the sounds. Much later, words would carry me back to the peaceful memory of this mountain hideaway. Water would dance with light; ducks would sing in awkward harmony. Knowing small pieces of heaven still exist, the gift of language will welcome back the memory of peace. The experience of a place had planted a sanctuary in my heart. I would not forget the fullness of the moment.

Survivors always have some memory of goodness. Some vision of sanctuary is carried with us to birthday parties and funerals. A secret faith holds the heart with all the sweet memories to mix against the bitterness of life. Personal sanctuaries still exist in the quiet reflections of our lives. Occasionally, a brave soul tries to market a road map, but eventually, we walk our own path. Good books, gourmet meals, gentle hugs, the lick of a family pet, smells of dusty baseball diamonds, home movies and gifts of love unite to awaken sleeping smiles in moments of crisis. Melted ice cream and wounded souls are no match for a peace that passes understanding. Go often to your sanctuary. Rest. Close your eyes. Listen. Let your mind paint a picture and carry it always.


Taken from The Signal Mountain Post, June 17, 1999 issue.
Between the Margins, by Beverly McCormick Peerson

Unsettled

Things have been unsettled lately. There have been several things going on. One of which I don't really want to mention right now. It's one of those things that I started and then wish I had never started it. I have to wait and see the outcome before I post anything about it here.

The other thing is that I have been having some trouble off and on for about a year now with swelling and bleeding around my gum area between my two front teeth. Since I try to take care of my teeth by brushing and flossing every day I couldn't figure out what was going on. Last week I had to go for an emergency visit to my dentist because my gums were so inflamed that my upper lip was swollen too. He took an x-ray and said that I have some kind of pocket or growth in my gums. He's sending me to a perodontist, a gum specialist, for treatment. That appointment is next Wednesday and I'm dreading it, but I'm tired of putting up with my gums bleeding at inopportune times. It just comes without warning, whether I'm in a meeting or whatever. It's very aggravating. The swelling has gone down now, though, thank goodness, but I'll be glad to get it taken care of. I'm just hoping it's something that can fairly easily be removed and nothing serious. I think Eddie and I are the eternal pessimists. We always fear and imagine the worst and anything better than that is good. I guess we get that from our mothers. Both of our mothers are pessimists and I guess hearing so much of it over our lifetime has rubbed off on us. I think we both have a tendency to look at the glass as half empty instead of half full.

The good news is that we are going to Spring Creek this weekend. I leave work at noon on Thursday and we are driving up Thursday afternoon and coming back home sometime Sunday afternoon. I'm looking forward to that. The thing I hate about it is that my cousin is looking for another job and if he finds one we won't be able to go to Spring Creek anymore. I have known for about the past 6 months or so that our days are numbered for going up there, so I treat every trip there as if it were the last one. I don't remember if I mentioned this here, but the company that my cousin currently works for has a retreat called Spring Creek Retreat and they rent it out. Because my cousin works there he and any of his family and friends he invites can go and only pay the cleaning fee. That's substantially less than the regular fee. We really love it there. It's so relaxing and restorative for me. I guess if he finds another job, our group or Eddie and I will have to find another place to go. I have gotten so spoiled since we have been going there. We have not taken a long vacation in several years. We have been going there so much (about twice a year), that we really haven't felt the need for a long vacation like we used to take. Ordinally we would take about a week each year and go to the beach somewhere or just to some place we have never been before. I guess when we can't go to Spring Creek anymore, we'll be going someplace else, hopefully equally as relaxing and enjoyable.

Animated Music Boxes

I love music boxes. I especially like the animated ones like this one. I've wanted one of these for a long time, but they are so expensive that I'm sure I'll never be able to afford one. I just have other priorities right now such as paying off bills. Something like this is an extravagance that I can't do right now.

I'm a fool for things with little rooms or scenes similar to doll houses. I don't know why, but those things intrigue me for some reason.

Bedroom finished

The bedroom is finally finished. After all that obsessing about the color, I ended up with the same color I originally wanted. My cousin painted his living room the same color. When we got the color on the wall, we thought, oh no, this is too dark. Then Eddie and I decided to put a border up around the top of the wall near the ceiling. I don't know if I've just been looking at it so long that I'm used to it, but once we got the border up, I really love it. We also arranged the bed at a different angle. It's now caddy corner and we put a ficus tree behind the bed.

Here's a before picture of our wall. We were using it as a sort of paint pallet to see what we might want.

Then here is the after picture that I love.

Stressed and Overwhelmed

We are in the process of repainting our bedroom. My cousin is going to help me do it and we are planning to do it over the July 4th holiday, which means that we plan to begin Thursday night after work. I was hoping to start painting the trim this past weekend, but we ended up spending the entire weekend doing prep work. Actually, Eddie did most of the prep work. He said there wasn't really that much I could do anyway at this point, so I was basically useless the whole weekend.

To add more stress we still haven't decided what color we want to paint the room. We want to do a Faux finish which I think it a wonderful finish. I love the effect. What I want is a sponging effect, but my cousin has done this in his living room and it looks great, so he'll be showing me what to do to help him. We have looked at paint samples until our eyes are glazed over. It's overwhelming. I know that once it's all done it will be worth it, but right now it's very frustrating.

This past week I read Twelve Sharp by Janet Evanovich. It was one of the best books I've read in a long time. When I read, I want to be entertained for the most part and any book that makes me laugh out loud is my kind of book. I don't care for books that have horror and blood and gore and all that kind of stuff, although there were a few places in this one that had some, but it was minimal. I love the character Stephanie Plum and I hope Janet doesn't stop writing these. I devoured this one and I can't wait for the next one to come out. She just can't write fast enough to keep me happy. I guess most authors are like that. Maybe I'll start writing a few little stories myself just to keep myself entertained. Nothing plagiaristic, just something for myself to keep me entertained. It might also help me develop my writing skills.

Raspberry Cheesecake

I ran across a quote from the book "Blame it on Chocolate" by Jennifer Greene that seems to echo my feelings about sweets. It goes like this:

She forked in some raspberry cheesecake, then closed her eyes, clearly wanting to enjoy the orgasm without the distraction of conversation.

I wouldn't describe it as an orgasm, but it's pretty divine .

Radios

My coworker had one of these this morning and I looked it up on the Internet because I thought I might want one. It's really sleek looking, and it sort of reminds me of a flying saucer. I like it because it has an AM/FM radio, CD player, and cassette player/recorder.

But then, I saw this ....

It is really a nice, sleek retro radio that I absolutely love. It has all the same features as the first one, but with a higher price tag. I've seen this one in person too, at Target. Hmmmm. I'll have to think about it. Maybe when I get my longevity check in July.

The Provencial Lady

Yesterday afternoon a friend of mine called me to see if I wanted to go to Hobby Lobby with her. We remembered that Hobby Lobby is closed on Sundays, so we decided to see if there were any antique shops or anything like that open. We did find an antique shop open and we were browsing around and I found this really old, musty smelling book called The Provencial Lady by E. M. Delafield. It's a 1942 edition from Macmillan and Son, Ltd., London. It was really dirty and looked like it had been in a fire, but I was intrigued by it so I bought it for $1.00 and brought it home and cleaned it up as best I could.

It contains four books in this one volume. Diary of a Provencial Lady; The Provincial Lady Goes Further; The Provencial Lady in America; The Provincial Lady in Wartime.

I started reading the first one Diary of a Provencial Lady last night and was really intrigued by the language and way of life back then. I like reading diaries, so I'm hoping this will be enjoyable. It has been so far. I really like the cover on this book. It was really dirty and musty and I took it off the front of the book, where it had apparently been glued at one time. Either that, or just so old, it had adhered itself to the book. I think I may put it into my journal at home.

Bodice Rippers

I can't believe that it's been almost a whole month since I last posted. I guess I've just gotten caught up in spring planting and work and just let time go by without blogging. I do enjoy writing in my journal.

I've recently discovered a few new author web pages that I really love. One of them is Celeste Bradley and Amelia Grey. A friend of mine loaned me a book by Amelia Grey titled A Little Mischief and I loved it. It was a historical romance and it's been a really long time since I read any of those. It reminded me a whole lot of the Kathleen Woodiwiss romances I used to read back in the 70's. I love her earlier books, like Ashes in the Wind, Shanna, The Wolf and the Dove, The Flame and the Flower. Her later books lost some of their appeal for me, for some reason.

After reading this Amelia Grey book, I decided to look for some more books by her and found only a few and I had to order them at Half.com because they are out of print. While surfing around on the web I found another author that I wanted to try named Celeste Bradley. Then I started looking for more romance writers and found a whole slew of them. Then I started looking at the Harlequin Blaze romances, and so it goes on and on.

When I was reading those so much in the 70's I heard them referred to several times as "bodice rippers". Well, ok, so be it.

Spring!

Yesterday I was at Walmart and saw these pretty salmon colored mini mums and decided to buy them. They were only $3.88 for a small bouquet. I love buying fresh cut flowers, but I rarely do it. Now that spring is here, I think I'm going to do it more often. Especially if I can get such a pretty bouquet for such a small price.

After we had the sunroom built, the construction people left a big, ugly dirt pile in our back yard. They were supposed to spread it back around the sunroom foundation, but they never did. We have been working on it off and on and the pile has gone down some, but it's still ugly. Yesterday I was looking out the window and saw 3 yellow tulips sprouting up out of that dirt pile. I was so excited I went out and cut them and put them the bouquet that I had bought at Walmart. They don't really match, but I don't care. I think it makes a nice spring bouquet. Just what we all need after such, a long, dark, cold winter.