Lifestyle changes

When I thought about the title for my blog today I realized that it is a true thing that is happening and a metaphor for the rest of my life.

About 20 years ago I was diagnosed with a heart murmur. From time to time I have palpitations and it usually gets worse with stress. About a month ago I started having palpitations off and on all day long instead of just once a week or so. I was worried about it and made an appointment with my cardiologist and was able to see him within a day. When I got there they did an EKG and took my blood pressure. My bp and EKG were both normal, so we talked about how I can make myself better. I need to lose weight in a major way. I'm about 50 pounds overweight, and with high bp (I take a medication for that), and a heart murmur, that's just setting myself up for disaster. I have always had a sweet tooth and I can not control my sugar intake. In other words, I can't eat just one cookie. He told me to not even bring desserts into the house. He said not to have chocolate, desserts, sugar or any sugar substitutes. He said when you consume something that has a sugar substitute, your body thinks it's getting something sweet and the more sweet you get, the more you crave and want. I could drink a diet drink and then immediately want some cookies to go with it. He said if I'm still hungry after I eat, to eat an apple. He also said I should walk 30 minutes a day before dinner. I know all of this of course, but had been basically ignoring it. I guess I just needed to hear it from a doctor to make the commitment to make the change. When I walked out of the doctor's office that day I made up my mind once and for all to make myself healthier and lose this excess weight that I've been carting around.

On Wednesday morning I went for a lipid profile since I have not had one in awhile. I knew my cholesterol would be up, but I had no idea it was going to be as high as it is. My tryglycerides are also way up. The lipid nurse put me on Lipitor and said I should walk 30 minutes a day, 7 days a week if I can, but if not, I should walk at least 5 days a week. She also gave me a handout about lowering cholesterol and went over it with me. It talks about how to read food labels, etc., and what you should eat and what you should avoid. It's pretty flexible, really. As long as you eat the permitted foods, you can do alright.

I have been walking since Monday, and I have not had any sugar or sugar substitutes for a week. He said not to eat anything that is not natural, and to not eat anything that is advertised on TV. I can eat fruits and fruit juices, but not anything that has refined sugar, or anything that has sugar added to it.

It's a new direction for me. It's taking commitment on my part, which I have. This time it's for real. I have to do this. I don't have a choice, and I'm doing fine. I had not lost any weight as of this morning, but I'm not going to let that bother me either. As long as I keep doing what I'm doing, the weight will begin to come off. I told my husband to hide the scale, though. I'm too obsessed with wanting to weigh all the time to see how I'm doing.

I guess the thing that really irritates me is the fact that almost everyone, with the exception of a few people, think my doctor is absolutely out of his mind for taking me off of sugar and sugar substitutes. They see no harm in having a sweet dessert once in awhile or using artificial sweetener. There is research out there that proves artificial sweeteners are bad for you, but if a person chooses to ignore that, it's up to them. As for the sugar, the people who tell me it won't hurt me don't have a problem with sugar or high bp or cholesterol. They can eat one cookie or a small dessert and don't feel the need for any more. They just don't know what it's like. I have compared my sugar problem to an alcoholic. If I have just a small amount of sugar or a dessert, then I won't be able to stop at that. I'll enhale that and look for more. The best thing for me to do is give it up altogether. I know I have some friends and family who are probably skeptical, but I will succeed, and when they see me walking around in a sexy outfit they will know it. I'm doing this for myself and no one else so I can be healthier.

So, there.

Horoscope

I really like my horoscope for this week. This describes me almost to a T.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20): I am absolutely democratic and non-hierarchical. In my view, no one is more important than anyone else in the big scheme of things. God has an equal love for Paris Hilton, the Dalai Lama, and Ahmed, the clerk at the convenience store where I buy gas. Every single person's role is crucial to the unfolding of evolution. I urge you to meditate on the possibility that this perspective is true, Pisces. Be especially eager to discover what it might mean for how you live your life from day to day. Here's one implication, articulated by Martin Luther King Jr.: "If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven played music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well."

Freewill Astrology

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I love this writing from one of my favorite southern writers, Lee Smith. I love the way she describes how she first felt about wanting to be a writer.

"More than anything else in the world, I wanted to be a writer. I didn't want to learn to write, of course. I just wanted to be a writer, and I often pictured myself poised at the foggy edge of a cliff somewhere in the south of France, wearing a cape, drawing furiously on a long cigarette, hollow-cheeked and haunted. I had been romantically dedicated to the grand idea of 'being a writer' ever since I can remember."

Touch of Spring

Over the weekend we came home and I happened to look over into our rose garden and saw this.




I told Eddie that I saw a rose and he said he thought it was already dead and gone. But, no is was not. I didn't want to cut it off the bush, so I ran and got my camera to take a picture. It came out beautifully. It's the only rose that we have seen this year. Of course, if we took better care of them we would see alot more I'm sure.

The Haunted Bookshop

In every bookstore, small or large, there are books we have not read; books which may have messages of unsuspected beauty or importance. They may be new books, they may be of yesterday, or of long ago.

The store where you found this volume exists in the hope of knowing--and learning--about books. There is no habit more valuable than that of dropping into a bookstore occasionally to look around--to look both inward and outward.

"We have what you need, though you may not know you have it."

-the Haunted Bookshop by Christopher Morley, 1919

Today I discovered two new books to read. I often read Keri's blog Wish Jar Journal and have always found it to be inspiring to make journal pages, for writing, and reading books. This particular book by Christopher Morley looks very interesting. There are actually two books in the series. The first is Parnassus on Wheels and the second is The Haunted Bookshop. They both sound really interesting and I'm going to either check them out from my library, or buy copies of them.

Chat Noir

Chat Noir

Last week some of my coworkers went to Chicago for a conference and one of them brought back these cute envelopes which have postcards with them. I have seen the Chat Noir poster before, and note cards and journals at Hobby Lobby, but I have not seen these postcards and envelopes. I may have to go back to Hobby Lobby and get that journal that I saw, if they still have it. It was really cute. Or maybe the poster.

Spring Creek

Spring Creek

This is the relaxing scene from the deck of the creek house at Spring Creek Retreat. We went 2 weekends ago. The way I feel today I could go back tonight. At least I have these pictures to help me remember. It is cloudy and rainy here today. I am at work right now and have been working on something repetitous which has made me very sleepy. I long to be at home right now taking a nice nap.

I have been having some trouble posting pictures on my computer at home. I first thought it was either Blogger or the Hello software, but now that I've used it here at work with no problem, I realize it's my computer at home. Sigh. I guess I'm going to have to see if we can afford a digital connection instead of using dial-up. I guess dial-up is the equivalant of the dinosaur age. Maybe one of these days we can afford a better connection.