Reflections

I've been feeling kind of reflective for the past couple of weeks. My aunt passed away last Thursday night and the funeral was on Saturday. I had been thinking alot about her recently, and more so since she became so sick. She was 91 years old and had never married. She was a very independent, feminist woman even when it wasn't cool. She was born in 1913 and as a young woman she did several different things in her life. One thing she did was cut men's hair as a barber. She used to cut my dad's hair years ago when I was a little girl. Another thing she did was work as a cook in a soup kitchen, and during World War II she served as a public safety officer at a local dam. She did things that alot of women, especially during that time, did not do. She loved to camp, fish and hunt. There is a picture, in her collection of pictures, of her as a young woman with a deer that she had just shot and it was draped on the hood of a jeep or some other vehicle. I am too much of an animal lover to ever consider killing anything unless I was about to starve to death and there just was no other way to survive. I guess I have a hard time with deer because they all look like Bambi to me.

Another thing I remember about my aunt is how she loved to help people who were in need. She helped me when I was a little girl. My family didn't have much money even though I was an only child. We were pretty poor. I guess she felt sorry for me because she used to come and get me every Saturday morning around 10 or 10:30 and take me with her to spend the day. We would go shopping and she would buy me clothes, etc., and then we always had lunch. Later on, we might go back to her apartment so she could take a nap while I ironed her sheets. It's funny because I don't know why I loved to iron sheets so much back then. Now, I can't stand to iron anything unless it's absolutely necessary, and I definitely don't iron my sheets now. I remember she had a console type stereo and I remember how wonderful it was and how great it sounded. When I was at her apartment I would play the record albums she had and they were by people like Perry Como, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole and more. I still love to listen to them, sometimes. Later on, after I grew up some more, she gave me her old stereo console and some of her record albums.

Of course, after I got older, into my teens, there came a time when I didn't want to go with her anymore on Saturdays. I feel sad about that now. I guess she must have known that the time would come eventually. After that, we saw her frequently, but not as often as when we used to spend our Saturdays together. When I was growing up she always made sure I had a good Christmas. Again, she must have felt sorry for me because we didn't have much money because I feel sure she recruited all of the family to give me gifts for Christmas. I'm sure, because of her efforts, I had a much more bountiful Christmases than alot of children who maybe had brothers and sisters. I wasn't spoiled at all and contrary to popular belief, not all only children get everything they want. Between what my parents could buy and the rest of the family I always had wonderful, memorable Christmases.

I guess that's one of the reasons I love the Christmas holidays so much. I think I enjoy the days before Christmas much more than the actual day itself. It seems like the day itself is such a letdown after it's all over. I can't stand to keep my Christmas tree up after Christmas because it's too depressing. Of course, I know the real meaning of Christmas is to celebrate Christ's birth. I love the atomosphere at Christmas, the twinkling lights on the Christmas trees and on the buildings, the Christmas carols, the fires in the fireplaces, the smell of gingerbread and cinnamon and all of those other wonderful smells we associate with Christmas. We used to get live cedar trees when I was growing up and I love their smell. Now, my husband has allergies so we have an artificial tree that is really pretty. I wonder if anyone sells a cedar air freshener or some kind of spray so the house would smell like cedar even though there isn't a tree in the house?