Losing Interest

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I seem to be losing interest in alot of things. For one thing, I'm looking for (and finding) excuses not to go to my painting classes. I'm in intermediate studio and I'm supposed to be an advanced student, but sometimes I just can't figure out what the heck I'm doing there. I feel like I don't belong there. Sometimes I feel all thumbs when I first start a painting and I think I can't figure out how to mix the paints to get the colors I want, and then somehow, miraculously, it all works out. I still think I may not have the hang of the brushstrokes to get the effect I want on the canvas. Another thing is that I really enjoy going around the classroom to see what other people are painting. It inspires me, but at the same time it makes me feel intimidated because I think that I will never be able to paint as well as they do. So, I'm thinking about quitting. It's really hard to get enthusiatic about going to class and painting for 3 hours after working all day, even though the class is only one night a week. Most days I'm so tired after work that all I want to do is go home and crash. My day starts at 5:45 a.m. and, when I go to class, I usually get home around 10:00 p.m., which makes for a really long day, well over 12 hours. I know I shouldn't be complaining because I know there are people who are working more than that, especially if they are going to school and/or working two jobs.

Eddie is the one who suggested that maybe I am losing interest in my painting classes, since I have been looking for excuses not to go. He is so attuned to what I am feeling and thinking most of the time. I think he's right and I've just been avoiding admitting that I'm losing interest.

Trying to get this sunroom built is wearing us both down. That might be part of it too. It has been raining here for the past two weeks, and next week promises to bring more rain. The builders are scheduled to start on the room Monday, but there is rain in the forecast. The weather is not cooperating at all. I guess those things can't be helped, but this constant dead in the water thing and getting nothing done is driving me nuts. My house is a wreck and I've got to start packing up some things in my dining room so that when they do start putting the french doors in, they won't damage anything.

Maybe I'm just sleep deprived and need a weekend to catch up.